I miss the smallest of things sometimes of my grandma. they're the things that I'm reminded of randomly and hit me the hardest.
I miss when I would spend the night and would sleep in her king size bed, she would hold my hand until, I'm assuming, I fell asleep.
I miss knowing she would always be there. Anytime I needed to talk, a hug or just company...she was eager to give it.
I miss her insisting on walking me down to the lobby of her apartment every time I left to wave to me as I pulled away.
I miss talking to her on AOL. Yes, my grandma was on instant messenger.
I miss hearing her say I love you to me. And I hate that I had saved all of her old voicemails from her to me, and my phone has somehow lost them.
And I just miss her. And her laugh. And her signing the sunshine song.
I'm having a bad night, can't you tell? And it's so random. So unexpected and it hits me so hard and full. I don't know how to shake it sometimes. It's been almost two years. And I seem to cry harder every time I have a moment. How do you past those? And gosh, how the heck do you keep your throat from hurting while crying?!