Thursday, March 27, 2014

it's late and i can't sleep

why does this always happen? you hit 3:00 PM and you are counting down the hours until your body can curl up in your bed, and you can drift off to sleep. then when you get there you are stuck. i have a lot on my mind lately. a lot. and most of its good and positive things, but i have a few things weighing down on my mind. i wish there were a switch somewhere to turn off thinking and you could just sleep. i think one of the reasons is i am sad for tomorrow.

tomorrow is my last day of work! i start a new and exciting job on Monday and i cannot be more thrilled. but i am sad to leave this job I've had for almost three years. working with kids has been... interesting. i say interesting because i find it fascinating, at times, to see how they see the world around them. and also, interesting, because half of the time i want to plug my ears and have them all take a nap.

early on at this job, i saw a lot of kids go through what i went through for so much of my elementary school years. bullying kills me. it hurts me to see it happen to other kids, it hurts me to remember, it hurts me to have it still happen at times in different ways. i am very protective of those kids who are bullied. i try to hug them a little extra tight when they cry to me, i try to tell them it's okay in my most convincing voice because i know when i was their age, i didn't believe it. i hope and pray i have been able to make the slightest of difference. i probably haven't, but even for that moment of comforting them i did. because i know and remember how much a moment can mean to a kid.

i have never laughed so much at this job. kids are pretty darn funny, i must say. life is beautiful with a little more laughter in it. i have a feeling tomorrow is going to be rough and sad. so bear with me here.


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