Friday, February 21, 2014

guys, i have missed you

guys. i have missed you. i am so sorry for being absent for OVER TWO MONTHS. trust me, it was not intentional at all. between finding out about the cancer, surgery, the holidays, a complete blog revamp and a very full Kate Spade planner, i have not had one minute to blog. so please bear with me. i won’t bog you all down with posts that are no longer relevant (happy new years, month of december…etc). BUT i will be talking about all of those things in one large, fun post that is soon to come!

first of all, the most exciting thing i have to talk about is about my health. as you may or may not remember, my last blog post was the day of my surgery. it was an extremely early morning followed by a painful and long day. i had to be at the hospital at eight that morning to get checked in to the nuclear medicine section. sounds scary, huh? it was. the people there were so unbelievably kind and i wish i could go back and give them all hugs. one of the receptionists gave me a bracelet that said “dream big” and boy, that was a mood lifter for sure.
when it was time for me to go back to do the scanning, i was so unsure of what was going to happen. i was told i would be injected with radioactive dye. how, i had no idea. but it seemed that everyone else around me in the waiting room had IVs in their hands. i was so, so wrong.

i got to the room which was freezing and regardless of how bright it was, it scared me. there was a huge machine with a long table coming from it. i had to lay on the table. the nuclear medicine doctor came in and explained what was promised to be a very painful experience. he injected me four times around where the cancer was. my mom was with me, thankfully, and described the injections as four large bubbles. it burned so badly, i cried. luckily, it didn’t last long. after it was in me, the table moved below this large circle camera where they monitored the dye as it moved. what was actually cool was being able to watch the dye move around my shoulder. it took about forty minutes total and we were sent to the hospital for surgery. another three hours of waiting, i was hooked up to an IV, in a hospital gown and sitting patiently, somehow, on the hospital bed waiting to be wheeled back to surgery.

it had been at least eighteen years since i have had surgery so i didn’t know what to expect in the operating room. they helped transfer me from the hospital bed to the operating table and got me comfortable. again, the nurse was so kind. i felt so comforted with her hand on my arm as the anesthesiologist placed the mask over my mouth. the last thing i remember was the bad smell of the anesthesia. the surgery was about two and a half hours. we knew this, but waking up and realizing it was something else. i was pretty groggy and lightheaded waking up but by the end of the night i was feeling better. that first night wasn’t too fun. i was pretty nauseous and just couldn’t get comfortable. as the numbness wavered, the pain set in. i was blown away at how simple things like laying down, sitting up, scratching my head, putting my hair up were all painful and some impossible at first. i had medicine, which was a god send. instead of stitches, or staples, i was “glued” together and then had tape over the incisions. a week later the bandages came off, not revealing the inch long scar i was originally told about. the scar on my left shoulder, where the cancer was, is five inches long. the two lymph node scars on my collar bone are, each, two and a half inches long. not pretty.

but the good news and the important reason of this blog post is THE RESULTS WERE NEGATIVE!! NO cancer left in me. it hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes or my breasts. now I just need to work on keeping SPF 1,00,000 on for the rest of my life, continuing being healthy and recovering.

a little over two months later, the scars are looking better, the swelling has gone considerably down and the pain isn’t as bad. still tender and the skin around the incisions are sensitive to almost everything.

thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. especially to my friends and family who reached out to me.
that is all for now. i promise i will be back. i have some exciting things to share!



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