Friday, February 28, 2014

here's to happiness {by Cassie}

what makes cassie incredibly happy...


1. my animals
2. kids laughing
3. the smile on my cousins' kids faces when they see me
4. my friends
5. rainbows
6. family
7. having someone remind me of an old/good memory

{photo by tumblr}

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

oh, february

i try my hardest not to complain about the weather. i did a post a few months ago about trying to enjoy what we have when we have it. {i may need to revisit that post as a reminder to not complain, but, whatever}

we go into november and december, anxious for a snowy thanksgiving or a white christmas. even on new years it's nice to see white outside. but what happens when those holidays are over? there is this huge gap in between new years and spring. go on vacation?

the bitter cold this past month or two has been horrible. the snow and slush make driving awful even on the shortest of drives. don't even get me started on the up and down temperatures we had in the past week. 50 degrees to 15 degrees, not cool, mother nature, not cool.

oh well, i shouldn't complain. because we have another month {i hope that's all} of this stuff. i cant wait until i look out my window and see green again. i'm thinking green might be my new favorite color.

but for now, i'll curl up in my blanket, cup of hot chocolate in my hand and close my eyes envisioning warmer days...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

inside her head, it was a good idea

january has passed and while this list should have gone up almost two months ago, it's better late than never, right?

here is my small list of resolutions. i figure the smaller it is, the more doable they are.
  1. drink more water + take my vitamins. everyday. no exceptions

  2. write something everyday. even if it's only a line

  3. get to the gym a few times a week. really, no exceptions

  4. do things that make me happy. no matter what other people think or have to say

  5. go to yoga more often

happy new year! {a month late...}

what were your new years resolutions? have you kept to them?

Monday, February 24, 2014

here's to happiness

my list of ten things that make me terribly happy...

1. warmer weather
2. simplicity
3. laughing with my friend Jenn so hard that we start crying
4. old love letters
5. bright red lipstick
6. my handmade yellow scarf
7. cheek kisses
8. my pink magnolia candle from target
9. bubble baths
10. making my bed in the morning

what makes you happy?

Friday, February 21, 2014

guys, i have missed you

guys. i have missed you. i am so sorry for being absent for OVER TWO MONTHS. trust me, it was not intentional at all. between finding out about the cancer, surgery, the holidays, a complete blog revamp and a very full Kate Spade planner, i have not had one minute to blog. so please bear with me. i won’t bog you all down with posts that are no longer relevant (happy new years, month of december…etc). BUT i will be talking about all of those things in one large, fun post that is soon to come!

first of all, the most exciting thing i have to talk about is about my health. as you may or may not remember, my last blog post was the day of my surgery. it was an extremely early morning followed by a painful and long day. i had to be at the hospital at eight that morning to get checked in to the nuclear medicine section. sounds scary, huh? it was. the people there were so unbelievably kind and i wish i could go back and give them all hugs. one of the receptionists gave me a bracelet that said “dream big” and boy, that was a mood lifter for sure.
when it was time for me to go back to do the scanning, i was so unsure of what was going to happen. i was told i would be injected with radioactive dye. how, i had no idea. but it seemed that everyone else around me in the waiting room had IVs in their hands. i was so, so wrong.

i got to the room which was freezing and regardless of how bright it was, it scared me. there was a huge machine with a long table coming from it. i had to lay on the table. the nuclear medicine doctor came in and explained what was promised to be a very painful experience. he injected me four times around where the cancer was. my mom was with me, thankfully, and described the injections as four large bubbles. it burned so badly, i cried. luckily, it didn’t last long. after it was in me, the table moved below this large circle camera where they monitored the dye as it moved. what was actually cool was being able to watch the dye move around my shoulder. it took about forty minutes total and we were sent to the hospital for surgery. another three hours of waiting, i was hooked up to an IV, in a hospital gown and sitting patiently, somehow, on the hospital bed waiting to be wheeled back to surgery.

it had been at least eighteen years since i have had surgery so i didn’t know what to expect in the operating room. they helped transfer me from the hospital bed to the operating table and got me comfortable. again, the nurse was so kind. i felt so comforted with her hand on my arm as the anesthesiologist placed the mask over my mouth. the last thing i remember was the bad smell of the anesthesia. the surgery was about two and a half hours. we knew this, but waking up and realizing it was something else. i was pretty groggy and lightheaded waking up but by the end of the night i was feeling better. that first night wasn’t too fun. i was pretty nauseous and just couldn’t get comfortable. as the numbness wavered, the pain set in. i was blown away at how simple things like laying down, sitting up, scratching my head, putting my hair up were all painful and some impossible at first. i had medicine, which was a god send. instead of stitches, or staples, i was “glued” together and then had tape over the incisions. a week later the bandages came off, not revealing the inch long scar i was originally told about. the scar on my left shoulder, where the cancer was, is five inches long. the two lymph node scars on my collar bone are, each, two and a half inches long. not pretty.

but the good news and the important reason of this blog post is THE RESULTS WERE NEGATIVE!! NO cancer left in me. it hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes or my breasts. now I just need to work on keeping SPF 1,00,000 on for the rest of my life, continuing being healthy and recovering.

a little over two months later, the scars are looking better, the swelling has gone considerably down and the pain isn’t as bad. still tender and the skin around the incisions are sensitive to almost everything.

thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. especially to my friends and family who reached out to me.
that is all for now. i promise i will be back. i have some exciting things to share!